An Unprecedented Punishment for an Unprecedented Crime

I'm sorry, but I must divert your attantion away from Miendur for a time. Some things of import demand attention regardless of audience. Besides Life is so much bigger than medieval fantasy, right?

For the majority of my life as a competent adult citizen (2 Years), I have been an avid critic of the NBA. Even though I am an ardent Pistons fan, I cannot stand the aura emitted from the NBA. Truth be told, I can’t stand watching any NBA game that does not feature the Pistons. I can’t even remember the last time I did so. The NBA is boring, slow, and saturated with ego.

However, now my deepest fears have been realized. Ron Artest. This man is the embodiment of all that I dislike about the NBA. This man has now not only marred the NBA but all of professional sports. Never before has an athlete been banned from his sport (save Pete Rose). Doing so to Artest would be an unprecedented move. But no athlete has ever declared war upon his sport either, or all sports for that matter. This is precisely what Artest has done. We can approach Artest’s World War III from several angles.

First of all, it is economic. Everyone knows that the NBA is a business. Making money is their top priority. By far. The teams are producers, and the fans are consumers. Let’s make an analogy here. Let’s say that I’m working the cashier at McDonald’s. A customer, for some strange reason, throws a fry at me, maybe a whole super-size fry (sorry, they don’t actually have super-size anymore, but let’s say they do). The greasy, hot fries burn my skin, and I go into survival mode. I jump over the counter and beat the snot out of the customer and the rest of his family. Do you think Mickey D’s would excuse my actions self-defense? NO!!! I would be fired, banned form the store, and likely prosecuted by the state. The same economic principle applies in Artest’s case. As a fan (consumer), Artest (producer) is no longer pleasing me. In fact, he is harming me. If the NBA does not ban him from the league, the Pacers, at the very least, should ban him from their team.

Now let’s look at a deeper, more sacred relationship: the professional athlete and the fan. This time-honored relationship is many-faceted. The athlete and the fan have many mutual obligations. Traditionally, respect between the two has been the norm, a sacred division between athlete and fan, which is only blurred during autograph signings and photo ops. However, fans (especially drunk ones) occasionally break with tradition. We can probably recall several examples from many sports where fans disrespect and abuse their close relationship to athletes. But never in the world of modern sports has an athlete struck back. In the stands. After Friday nights brawl, this norm and expectation has been shattered. Artest has now set a precedent where professional athletes can retaliate for disrespect, abandon reason for madness, and randomly assault fans in the stands. Why was Stephen Jackson in the stands? Because Artest was. Jackson was simply following Artest’s example.

In order to make sure that this “exception” stays the exception and not the norm, the NBA must take decisive and severe action. Kudos to Stern for the harsh suspensions, but, in the end, that solves nothing. Unprecedented crimes require unprecedented punishment. I call for banishment. Exile. Everything short of the death penalty. Not only has Artest compromised the integrity of his team in recent weeks but also the integrity of the game and all spectator sports. The man is a danger to the public and cannot be trusted as a competent citizen. Give him help, but do not let him play basketball. Ever. The brawl looked like a scene right out of a South American soccer match or, even worse, a Palestinian riot. We are incredibly fortunate that no one is dead, but, if this irrationality continues in professional sports, someone will be.

While the debate over Artest will assuredly continue well past the Christmas Day game, one fact remains steadfast and true: Joey Harrington is pretty darn happy that, because of Artest, his game on Sunday is receiving little press.